Tag Archives: Kim Jong Il

Letterman’s Top 10 3/25/09

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Signs You Work For A Bad Company” (“Late Show,” CBS, 3/25).

10) “Workday begins with a pledge of loyalty to Kim Jong Il.”
9) “If you haven’t used your sick days, they infect you with tuberculosis.”
8 ) “They claim an excellent rating from the ‘Better Bidness Bureau.’”
7) “Only office perk is free oxygen.”
6) “Instead of raises, everyone is given raisins.”
5) “CEO recently advised employees to fake their deaths and move to Costa Rica.”
4) “Blew $40(B) in government bailout funds on a state-of-the-art taco bar.”
3) “You spend a lot of time opening for Deep Purple (sorry, that’s a sign you work for the band Bad Company).”
2) “Corporate logo is a handcuffed executive being put in a police cruiser.”
1) “Company gave George W. Bush $7(M) for his memoirs.”

Letterman’s Top 10 2/18/09

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Things Overheard At Kim Jong Il’s Campaign Headquarters” (“Late Show,” CBS, 2/19).

10) “How do we improve perfection?”
9) “Maybe it would help your likeability if you would stop killing people.”
8 ) “Remind voters there have been no Godzilla attacks on my watch.”
7) “After promising nuclear Armageddon, throw in a folksy, ‘You betcha.’”
6) “Remind people you come from Pyongyang just like Kim Jong-Lincoln.”
5) “Korean food again?”
4) “Maybe we should hire a new chairman and move Kim to 10pm.”
3) “‘Get a load of that bodacious booty!’ (Sorry, that was overheard at Kim Kardashian’s house).”
2) “With 0% of the precincts reporting, you’ve won in a landslide.”
1) “Hillary’s running against me?”