Letterman’s Top 10 3/3/09

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Signs Your Stockbroker is Losing It” (“Late Show,” CBS, 3/3).

10) His “office” is in the patio section at Wal-Mart
9) Assures you President McCain will lower interest rates
8 ) Buys 15,000 shares of a company called “Gogle”
7) He has a seat on the Bayonne Stock Exchange
6) When you ask him what he thinks about the market, he does this: “meow”
5) Last week, got into a shouting match with his calculator
4) Claims to be the bastard child of Merill and Lynch
3) When the opening bell rings, he screams, “Fire!”
2) Makes you call him “mommy” so he can list you as a dependent
1) During the day he handles your money; at night he handles your wife


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