Letterman’s Top 10 2/5/09

Last night’s Top Ten list, presented by rapper Lil Wayne via satellite, was “Reasons I’m Looking Forward to the Grammy Awards” (“Late Show,” CBS, 2/5).

10) “By thanking family and friends on air, I can save money on my long-distance calls.”
9) “In the course of the evening I’m hoping to marry and divorce Amy Winehouse.”
8 ) “I’m nominated in the category of ‘Lillest Wayne.’”
7) “I get to hang with the Jonas Brothers.  Have you seen those guys?  They’re adorable.”
6) “Watching Madonna ask for the senior citizen’s discount at the bar.”
5) “The U.S. Airways pilot is going to land a plane on the stage.”
4) “The green room crabcakes are in the shape of Beyonce’s booty.”
3) “It’ll be more exciting than my usual Sunday night of watching ‘Desperate Housewives’ in my underpants.”
2) “In these tough times, Americans will appreciate the chance to watch a bunch of rich people kiss each other’s asses for three hours.”
1) “Winners who talk too much get tased.”
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