Letterman’s Top 10 1/9/09

Friday night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Signs Your New Year Is Off To A Bad Start” (“Late Show,” CBS, 1/9)

10.) “It’s January 9 and there’s still a fat guy passed out on your sofa from New Years Eve.”
9.) “All the money you didn’t lose in the Ponzi scheme, you bet on the Colts.”
8.) “Regis just moved in next door.”
7.) “Began year in emergency room having novelty ‘2009’ glasses removed from your stomach.”
6.) “Your wife’s resolution was to give up sex, with you.”
5.) “You’re still sitting in your y2k bunker.”
4.) “Company transferred you to an office in Gaza.”
3.) “Somali pirates just stole your Buick.”
2.) “Your cholesterol is higher than the stock market.”
1.) “It’s Friday night and you’re watching Letterman.”
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