Letterman’s Top 10 1/5/09

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Signs You’re Watching Too Much Football” (“Late Show,” CBS, 1/5).

10) “Only fresh air you’ve had this month is opening door for pizza guy.”
9) “You refer to orange juice as FedEx orange juice.”
8 ) “When wife finishes making dinner, you dump jug of Gatorade on her.”
7) “You schedule an appointment to talk to your doctor about Andy Reid’s cholesterol.”
6) “You got a telestrator in the bedroom.”
5) “Three words: Norv Turner tattoo.”
4) “Fantasize about Gisele Bundchen falling in love with you and introducing you to Tom Brady.”
3) “When you go to McDonald’s you insist on ordering the McNabb.”
2) “Laura has to keep reminding you you’re still president for two more weeks.”
1) “To be more like your favorite New York Giant, you shoot yourself in the leg.”

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