Letterman’s Top 10 10/13/08

Last night’s “Top Ten” list was “Top Ten Surprises In The Sarah Palin ‘Troopergate’ Investigation Report.” CBS’ Letterman: “Sarah Palin, the Governor of Alaska, was involved in some kind of an investigation and it had to do with her, I guess, beating a guy to death. … An investigation concluded that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin abused her power in her push for the firing of a state trooper who was once married to her sister” (“Late Show,” CBS, 10/13).

10) “Spent thousands of tax-payer dollars pimpin’ her dog sled.”
9) “Terminated her hairstylist after receiving a bad beehive.”
8 ) “Palin claims she hasn’t seen this kind of misuse of justice since Supreme Court case of…umm, lemme think of one.”
7) “In her adult life has never gone more than ten minutes without saying, ‘You betcha!’”
6) “No number six — writer looking for his hairbrush.” (A hairbrush was found on stage during the monologues.)
5) “Report’s conclusion: ‘Hey, at least she didn’t shoot a guy like Cheney!’”
4) “Spent eight weeks in rehab for addiction to lip gloss.”
3) “When asked to respond to charges said, ‘Instead of answering your question, I’m going to talk about energy.’”
2) “The report is printed in extra-large font so McCain can read it!”
1) “Palin’s excuse: ‘It wasn’t me, it was Tina Fey.’”

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