Letterman’s Top 10 9/9/08

Last night’s “Top Twelve” list was “Top Twelve Perks Of Being A NASCAR Driver.”  The list was presented on-stage by the 12 NASCAR drivers involved in the Chase for the Sprint Cup (“Late Show,” CBS, 9/9).

12)  “Crazy gas prices? I don’t care, I’m not payin’” (Matt Kenseth).
11)  “Bring your helmet to Taco Bell and they’ll fill it up with Guacamole, free” (Kevin Harvick).
10)  “Don’t have to shave your body like Olympic swimmers…although, why not?” (Jeff Gordon).
9)  “Hasselhoff promised me one of those talking cars” (Greg Biffle).
8)  “I use old checkered flags to make fabulous throw pillows” (Tony Stewart).
7)  “There’s nothing like going through a car wash at 190 miles per hour” (Jeff Burton).
6)  “GPS underpants” (Denny Hamlin).
5)  “Sorry, I forgot my joke — I was thinking about Jessica Alba— man, she’s hot” (Clint Bowyer).
4)  “Run out of olive oil?  A little Quaker State will spruce up any salad” (Dale Earnhardt, Jr.).
3) “Traveling to exotic locations like Martinsville, Virginia and Dover, Delaware” (Jimmie Johnson).
2) “At high school reunions, it’s fun to ask, ‘So what do you do for a living?’ (Carl Edwards).
1) “After a race, your ass vibrates for days” (Kyle Busch).

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