First of all, mad props to Amy for creating this blog. There’s no way I would have the initiative to create a blog at 7 o’clock in the morning, let alone a blog symbolized by an elephant pleasuring a donkey. Or is it a donkey pleasuring an elephant? Regardless, nice job! It has been my longtime dream to become a blogger, and now the opportunity has come at last. Now I can do all sorts of cool things, such as using acronyms like MSM to pejoratively refer to the real journalists whose work I shamelessly leech off of.
That said, here’s some stories I found interesting today
1) If you’ve always wanted to work in Congress, think again
This NY Times story details the difficulties of working for a member of congress, namely Rep. Anthony Wiener of NY. Apparently Wiener is a pretty huge dick as a boss.
Having served a brief stint in congress myself, I can vouch for the challenges of the job. Between buying your representative/senator lunch and reading his mail, you barely have time to make sure you get the milk to sugar ratio right in his coffee.
Probably the best part of the job is when you get to field phone calls from irrationally irate constituents, who for whatever reason believe that paying taxes entitles them to abandon the normal rules of civil discourse when discussing politics. Most calls come from people who are either (a) old, (b) religious zealots, or (c) old religious zealots.
Other than that the job is great, as long as you can stand the intellectual dishonesty it requires. You see, research as a congressional aide follows the rules of Legislative Science, which is just like real science except that it is the opposite. In real science, you gather evidence from which you draw conclusions; in Legislative Science, you have conclusions you skew the evidence to support. Then, you call a press conference to discuss your groundbreaking findings. Here, the goal is to say nothing using the most words possible. Which brings me back to Mr. Wiener. He’s my early favorite to be the next Mayor of NYC. But considering how easy it is to pun his name, he better assemble a heck of a press office if he’s gonna have any chance.
2) From the Department of Ironic News Flight carrying Ron Paul and 6 other congressmen makes emergency landing
This one’s for Andy. The congressmen were on their way to DC to vote on an aviation safety bill when their plane lost cabin pressure, went into a nosedive, and was forced to make an emergency landing. Kinda makes you wish this stuff happened more often in Washington. Wouldn’t it be great if someone could someone trick Scalia into presiding over a gay marriage?
Well, that’s it for tonight, hope to see everyone who’s in NY at happy hour tomorrow.
Oh and Brendan, for the record, Bloomberg would be my #1 choice for president, though vp wouldn’t be too bad either. Actually, check out this story for a novel take on his chances: