Letterman’s Top 10 3/12/09

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Messages Left On Bernie Madoff’s Answering Machine” (“Late Show,” CBS, 3/12).

10) “This is Barnes & Noble. I’m sorry, we don’t sell calendars for the year 2159.”

9) “Hey Bernie, I’ve been out of the country — How are my investments doing?”

8 ) “Blockbuster calling, your copies of ‘The Great Escape’ and ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ are overdue.”

7) “Do I have the correct number? Is this 1-800-ASS?”

6) “It’s Ruth — If you go out, remember to swindle some milk and eggs.”

5) “If you’re under house arrest, why aren’t you home?”

4) “Sorry, I didn’t mean to dial your number. I just sat on my phone.”

3) “Hi Bernie, it’s A-Rod’s cousin. You looking to bulk up for prison?”

2) “It’s Michael Phelps. Need something to help you relax?”

1) “It’s George W. Bush. Can I still get in?”