Letterman’s Top 10 11/21/08

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Sarah Palin Excuses.” CBS’ David Letterman read the list after showing the video clip of Palin’s recent interview after she pardoned a turkey in Alaska. During the interview, a turkey is being slaughtered in the background (“Late Show,” CBS, 11/24).

10) “I can see Russia, but I can’t see what’s going on 5 feet behind me.”

9) “Not thinking straight after spending all night reading every newspaper and magazine.”

8 ) “Damn ‘gotcha’ media got me again!”

7) “My Remington shotgun says I don’t need an excuse.”

6) “Those were al Qaeda turkeys.”

5) “I thought they were just torturing the little guy.”

4) “I mean, doggonit, you know, like we have to lower taxes, and like, it all falls under job security, and we need to drill, you know?”

3) “Uh, stomach flu?”

2) “I’ll get right back to ya! I’m still adorable, America.”

1) “Don’t blame me! Blame Joe the Turkey Slaughterer.”

Finally, Ann Coulter Will Be Quiet

HuffPost:

Ann Coulter may be completely silenced, at least for a while.

If the New York Post’s Page Six report is true, Coulter broke her jaw and her mouth is wired shut.

Apparently it hurts a ton to have your jaw broken and so I’m not necessarily taking pleasure in the plain- just the intensely gratifying result of having Coulter’s mouth literally wired shut.

Hertzberg on Mormons and Prop 8

Hendrik Hertzberg nails it in the most recent New Yorker:

You might think that an organization that for most of the first of its not yet two centuries of existence was the world’s most notorious proponent of startlingly unconventional forms of wedded bliss would be a little reticent about issuing orders to the rest of humanity specifying exactly who should be legally entitled to marry whom. But no. The Mormon Church—as anyone can attest who has ever answered the doorbell to find a pair of polite, persistent, adolescent “elders” standing on the stoop, tracts in hand—does not count reticence among the cardinal virtues. Nor does its own history of matrimonial excess bring a blush to its cheek.

It goes on and is definitely worth a read.